I went to the Emmys last night, and it was hilarious and a blast and also some weird stuff happened that I thought you, lovely reader, might enjoy hearing about. This post is not exactly about kids, and not exactly about work (although my husband and I get to go because of our work, which is cool), but I’m posting about it anyway because, come on, IT’S THE EMMYS.
Here’s what I saw, heard, and ate last night.
- Celebs really do mingle with the commoners.
Generally speaking, people who live in Los Angeles would rather die than approach a celebrity for a selfie. It is simply not done, because we’re all supposed to be cool and above it all and whatnot.
But last night all bets were off. I watched all kinds of people randomly introduce themselves to actors, actresses, directors, etc., congratulate them on their work, and ask for pictures.
I think this is largely due to proximity; I mean, how often are you literally rubbing elbows with people like Chris Rock and Julia Louis Dreyfus? Everywhere I turned, I saw someone I recognized. (This is actually a bit of a weird phenomenon, because many, many attendees are not A-listers. They’re working actors who have had supporting roles in about a dozen shows, so they look familiar but you can’t place them. You think things like, “Did I go to college with that guy? High school, maybe? [Long pause.] Oh no WAIT, I think he was on Law & Order SVU for a couple years!”) At one point I accidentally bumped into Mandy Patinkin as he munched on a tiny little sandwich. He smiled very kindly at me like it everything was perfectly normal while I thought to myself, “I just bumped into Inigo Montoya OMG OMG OMG.”
I will admit to getting in on the selfie action. At the Governors’ Ball (more on that later) my husband and I saw the entire cast of Orphan Black standing around cheerfully chatting with each other, and we almost passed out with excitement. We love us some Orphan Black, you guys. We got a picture with Jordan Gavaris (Felix!), and we grinned like loons the entire two minutes we spent talking with him. (Thanks for being cool to us even though we acted like total fangirls, Jordan!)
The celebrity/commoner divide broke down even further after the after-parties. Late in the evening we hit the Netflix party, and while there was some reserve seating for talent, every single celeb we saw appeared friendly and relaxed. Half the cast of Orange Is the New Black lounged at the bar being incredibly cool to everyone in attendance; Robin Wright (who is so damn beautiful it defies belief) laughed next to me as she kicked off her shoes.
- There’s a lot of dessert and bread on offer, and no one eats any of it.
Awards shows may cause LA people to relax their self-imposed rules about approaching celebrities, but Angelenos don’t chill out about their diets. Which is too bad, because look at this!
I ate the candy. And the carbs. And I stuffed a couple of salted caramel truffles into my purse for a midnight snack. Just saying.
I also ate the most delicious mini-donut of my entire life on the way out of the Netflix party, but I forgot to take a picture of it. Terrible work by me.
- It’s the grown-up, entertainment industry version of prom.
I got my hair done at Drybar yesterday morning, and then immediately regretted it. While the stylist was a sweetheart and tried very, very hard, the finished product looked distinctly like prom hair (or maybe wedding hair, IDK). I debated undoing the updo and throwing it into a bun, but I flat-out ran out of time (getting ready for a black-tie event while three children circle you demanding apple juice is super fun!), so #PromHair was a go.
Then we arrived, and I instantly stopped worrying about my updo. Because it was maybe the LEAST elaborate hair in the entire room. And I am not just talking about the celebs, you guys. Every single woman (and at least some of the men) clearly had professional hair and makeup going on, along with some truly amazing gowns, blinged-out jewelry, the works. Everyone looked gorgeous. It was quite a display. I immediately felt like an underdressed teenager. Just like at my actual senior prom!
And the high school comparison doesn’t stop there. The constant posing for photos, the trophy-clutching winners standing in for Prom King and Queen, the (sometimes questionable) dancing as the band played 90s covers, the women (even the stars!) ditching their shoes and walking around unapologetically barefoot as the night wore down, the constant discussion about which after-after-party would be the best…PROM.
- 85% of the people attending the Emmys spend the night talking about how they don’t want to be at the Emmys.
This was kind of shocking to me. I had at least a dozen conversations where people complained about how un-fun the whole thing is, and how they only attend because it’s a mandatory work obligation. Hmmmmm.
On the one hand, it’s a long event, and I can see where it might be tiring to socialize with coworkers for five-ish hours on a Sunday afternoon/evening.
On the other hands, IT’S THE EMMYS. Jimmy Kimmel is standing right there, making pretty decent jokes, right in front of you. (And yes, we got sandwiches from Jimmy’s mom, which we totally ate.) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Amy Schumer and about one hundred other completely amazing, smart, badass women are all around. There’s free lipstick in the bathroom and waiters refilling your champagne glass every five minutes. There are professional makeup artists in front of giant lighted mirrors in the hallway who will cheerfully touch up your hair and makeup if you’d like. Three of the kids from Stranger Things did karaoke, for goodness sakes!
It’s not the worst, is what I’m saying.
I thought it was rad, I had a blast, and I’m not ashamed.
- Commoners (me) don’t get swag bags anymore. But there are random bins of makeup in all the women’s bathrooms!
I hear the celebrity gift bags are still pretty crazy, but this is not a thing everyone gets. However, as mentioned above, there are giant glass bowls of mascara and lipstick and hairspray in every single women’s bathroom, and you are expected and even encouraged to take it! (I took one extra lipstick for my babysitter because she’s awesome.)
- The Governors’ Ball is craaaaaaazy.
Walking into the Governors’ Ball was the wildest moment of the night for me. To say the party was elaborate is the understatement of the year. The entire place was draped with silk trees and vines; pin lights hung from the ceiling to look like stars. A huge rotating stage sat in the middle of the room holding an orchestra playing pop music covers. Multiple sitting areas with overstuffed furniture and beautiful appetizers were scattered throughout the giant room.
And on a bit of a weird note, dozens of servers stood unmoving, smiling verrrrry forced smiles, holding trays of champagne and bottles of wine. I have no words to adequately express the oddity of the motionless servers. My husband forced me to pose for this picture in front of some of them, and I did it but I don’t feel good about it.
Here are a few shots more shots of the party, which won’t do it justice at all.
I hope you enjoyed that montage of poor-quality, low-lit iPhone photos. You’re welcome.
We had an amazing time at the ceremony, the Governors’ Ball, and the Netflix party. We socialized, ate, drank, danced, and laughed a lot. It was a great night. And on a quick serious note, how fantastic was it to see so many talented women take home awards for categories like writing and directing?
I very much hope we get to go again next year. I’ll do bigger hair next time, I promise. #PromHair2017