This is not exactly working mom related, but Heather assures me it’s too funny not to share.
Last Friday I had a light day at work (SO RARE), so I cancelled the afternoon babysitter and picked up the kids from school myself. As we were leaving my son’s classroom, we ran into the older sister of one of his friends, a lovely, funny, smart third-grader whom we’ll call Jane for the purposes of this story.
Jane and her friend were filling up their water bottles at the special filtered water fountain in the school hallway. We chatted for a couple of minutes, then Jane said, with no preamble whatsoever, “I only use this water fountain now because it has filtered water. Everyone knows if you use the regular water fountains you get pregnant. Three of the first grade teachers on this hallway are pregnant!”
Cut to my two children, frozen in shock, jaws on the floor.
When my son finally recovered from his initial astonishment, he dramatically stage whispered to me, “Mommy…is that true?” I sputtered that it wasn’t true, that Jane was only joking, that she was being funny because so many of the first grade teachers are pregnant at the same time, but he clearly wasn’t buying what I was selling.
Then my daughter, who is five, looked me up and down suspiciously. After a long moment spent eyeing my five-months-pregnant belly, she crossed her arms and said, “OK Mommy, how did that baby get in there? If it wasn’t the water fountain, what happened?”
“Yeah,” said my son, curiosity dawning on his face. “How do you get a baby? How does that happen?”
I tried to stall and tell them we’d talk about it later at home, and that I have a book for us all to read together (which is true, I bought this weeks ago just in case I started to get questions about their upcoming sibling), but they were not pleased with me, and would not let up. They wanted answers immediately.
At this point Jane and her friend cheerfully waved goodbye and skipped away, while I remained in the hallway, being relentlessly peppered with questions from my children. Meanwhile, other parents continuously walked by giving me the side-eye as they heard what my children were saying.
And a week later, my son still won’t use the water fountains at school.