How’s your week going? I’m going to be honest – mine has been pretty tough.
My spiritual friend summed it up well when she texted this:
“Mercury in retrograde is kicking your a**!!!”
It turns out that “Mercury in retrograde” is the term used to describe the times each year when it appears that the planet Mercury is moving backwards through the zodiac via optical illusion. According to the Farmer’s Almanac “[T]his is an excellent time to reflect on the past. Intuition is high during these periods, and coincidences can be extraordinary.”
Well, with Mercury looking like it’s going crazy in the universe, my friend rather accurately described how my week was going… things were happening all around me, and none of it appeared to make any sense.
Monday and Tuesday were sort of classically busy – lost homework, misbehaving dog, school events scheduled conveniently (not) in the middle of the day. But Wednesday ended up being extremely special, retrograde-style.
I started the day full of hope… that I could complete an on-time series of carpool dropoffs, arrive at my office reasonably on-time and looking fairly professional, work a solid day, and then go home like a normal person. Exactly none of the above happened.
Instead, this happened (and I blame stupid Mercury):
Event 1: A Tree Ruins My Day
As I’m half-way to my first carpool dropoff, I get a robo-call from my boys’ school… for inexplicable reasons, a tree is down, the power is out, and school is probably cancelled. No storm to blame. Just Mercury.
Ok… cancel my entire day, return home with 2 boys, attempt to work for a few hours. When the boys are home, this usually includes making them lunch, breaking up at least 2 arguments, yelling at them about the dog, locating at least 3 lost items, setting time limits for each to use the X-Box… you get the idea.
Event 2: Volleyball Game Loss = Grouchy Teenager
Since my day is pretty much toast anyway, I decided to score some “Mom” points and take the boys to my daughter’s volleyball game. It’s always fun to watch, but I have to tell you… my teenager is realllllly grouchy when they don’t win.
They did not win, and she was no fun.
Event 3: Another Tree Ruins My Already Bad Day
Things were looking up, despite the angry teen in the car, because it was time to go home.
But when we pull into our street, it is clear that Mercury has struck again. Another random tree is down immediately behind my house and all of the power in the neighborhood is out. What is happening? Why are all of these trees falling? There is zero rational explanation. Mercury is in retrograde….
Well, this is all pretty inconvenient. But things really take a turn for the worse when the kids and I realize that we are locked out. I don’t have a house key on me, in my purse, or in the car. And the garage passkey thing that we use every single day – that’s an electricity thing. Aggggghhhhh. Not good. My son is quick to remind me that Thunder the dog is locked inside. In his crate. Without food or water. NOT. GOOD.
Okay, so I calm everyone down, take the kids to dinner (much discussion about the dog over dinner… too much…), and yep, several hours later the power is still out. Based solely on the very large number of chain saws being used behind my house, I conclude that the problem isn’t getting fixed soon.
Event 4: I Have to Call a Locksmith to Jailbreak the Dog at 9pm
With no key (stupid me), I have no choice but to call a locksmith to come jailbreak the dog. It’s about 9pm right now. My little guy is looking wilted. I’m about to lose my mind.
An hour later, there is a guy with a locksmith device basically breaking into my house. It took about 20 seconds. I asked him if the bad guys have those devices too… He told me I should carry good insurance. Reassuring.
Event 5: I Had a Sleepover at My Ex’s Because My House is Too Hot
It’s still hot and humid here in Atlanta, and once we were inside the house, it was clear that nobody was going to sleep that night because it was really hot inside. I was so so tired too. It was now about 9:45 at night and I needed somewhere to go… immediately. And friends, you know I was very very tired because my next move even surprised me. I pulled out my phone and texted my kids’ dad and asked him if we could crash at his house. He was (conveniently) out of town for the week, and he very nicely said yes. I could not have been more grateful in that moment. I have more to say about that unexpected turn of events, but I’m going to save those thoughts for a different post.
You know what, tomorrow is the last day of this retrograde event.
Based on how things have gone so far, I’m staying far away from trees, looking at my homeowners insurance coverage, and generally trying to avoid anything significant. Good luck friends – one more day of Mercury in retrograde.